difficult beginnings part 2

is to blog to be at risk of being taken away to the nut house?

do i dare say what i’m truely thinking?

about how i feel like there is someone behind me pushing me, heels dug into the ground, along this path, that could be the best or the worst outcome for my art practice?

i’ve always shyed away from an MA rejecting it as I feel there is a lack of brain to be able to eloquently express my ideas and developments, and how normally my work is simply an end product, fit to be sold in the public domain, but tells no story, or illustrates no great point, or has no relevance within the contemporary art world cos it’s not thaty clever.

the products that are on my website now – will they be there in a year?

should i start a sister website that actually has my real name on it, and not some quirky busines name that i hoped was catchy and memorable – is that truer to myself as an artist?

or am i just being drawn into a world that i admire, but won’t really have a place within, and that could damage my self belief in my own pieces?

aaargghh too many questions, and it pains me to not try to find immediate answers, but the same person that is behind me pushing is also telling me to stop looking for a reason in everything; just explore and see where it takes you

as elinor said to me the other day – it doesn’t have to have a reason

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