difficult beginnings part 9

sadly it has been rather too long since i was last here, my ideas have been moving along, then got stuck, then i got too busy. poor excuse i know.

after the last post i suddenly realised that all i was actually achieving was to organise people, and that whilst its a NICE idea it didn’t actually involve any artwork for me, and seeing as how my life at home and work seems to revolve around organising people i rapidly went off the idea.

we had another day on the ATS scheme on the 8th Sept, but i didn’t get as much out of it as the other days, and had misunderstood what we would have been doing and so whilst i had created work to show, we then didn’t, so i just hit a hiatus.

after a discussion with a friend i decided to go back through what i had come up with so far and i am still keen on the idea of noise within a gallery setting, and i am curious to see how people would react to a classical piece of artwork whilst listening to drum and bass, and whether that would effect their affection for a piece especially if the music was something they disliked.

but apart from that still going round in my head i couldn’t seem to push it any further.

i have had a particularly rubbish week at college, and had hoped that i would enjoy my teaching more this year than last, but it just seems to be repeating itself in general crapiness.

so i had nothing to add for our group crit today, all i knew was how stuck i was, and desperately wanted some kind of push as to which direction to go.

 

but as i sat in my studio last night, creating stock to fulfill orders, which is lovely to be making but as it is a repeat of a product requires little creative input, it struck me how whilst we are at school we are told that if we work hard and get good grades we will have a job we love.

(apart from my own making) i am still waiting for this to happen. and then i started to think about all the other little lies life has told us, and it rather snowballed……

“you will be richer in your 30’s than you were in your 20’s”

“you will get pregnant as soon as you are ready to have children”

“you will have a place in society”

“you’ll never get caught”

“noone would sleep with your wife”

“people will find you interesting”

“problems with alcohol and drugs will not affect you”

“you won’t be those parents that shout at your child in public”

“you are too good at your job to ever be made redundant”

“you will never loose your home”

“you are great in bed”

“you won’t be the couple whose marriage falls apart”

“if you follow a strict diet you will loose weight”

“as an adult you will be in full control of your emotions”

“you will marry for love not money”

“you will never be the victim of domestic abuse”

“you’ll never let your friends down (or vice versa)”

“you will be loved”

“you will learn from your mistakes”

“there are too many safeguards in place after the last recession to let us have another bad one again”

“you will out grow being shy”

“by the time you are 35 you will have found the one you’ll spend the rest of your life with”

“you will remember”

initial thoughts as to how this would be done were to utilisie the work i do now to create a series of silver clay brooches with these impressed into the pieces, maybe with doors like a locket with an emblem on front to hide our dirty little secrets; what badge would you wear? how many would you need? would you wear your badge with honour or shame? kinship of badges = “the doubters society”

as i read it through this mornng on the train i was also reminded of baz luhrmans tune sunscreen, and in turn felt there could be a still of a living tree flashing up with each spoken phrase, finishing with a dead tree when it says “you will remember” whilst played over a drum and basss track.

then as i watched a cargo train go past i was struck by how we put our thoughts away in to little boxes; compartmentalise them away from public view, how there could be a shipping container loaded train going around the top of the gallery space to further represent how these thoughts go round and round in our heads.

all very cathartic……..

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