difficult beginnings part 11

still seem to be wrapped up in the processes rather than the ideas; not sure if that is lack of confidence or just artist block. was really struggling with the fact that my ideas don’t seem arty enough, and had tried to reassure myself that it didn’t really matter, so it was refreshing to hear the artist today say “how everything we do defines us as artists not just our art work”, which I find a very appealing thought. “and whilst it is important to have a connection of some kind with the materials you intend to use it may be a link which goes way back into your past practice and doesn’t have to be explained directly. you don’t have to question why, what, how, when to achieve an outcome, just as you can’t rush the development of ideas. is it just as important to have lots of false starts as it is to write to help firm up your ideas, as it is to produce the final piece, which may only finish in the hours right before you “deliver” the final entity.” this has kind of flipped my current thinking and while I have been striving to continue to push the ideas simply by producing a variety of outcomes based on a given theme, and had become really stuck in just performing , actually I should have taken then opportunity to realise my ideas into real forms, as this process would have helped to unstick me more than just thinking about it, and how where I felt I was just churning out product idea after product idea, they were all valid pieces in the puzzle and should have been given a physical outlet to then further inform my journey through. very fascinated by idea of using smell, light and temperature alongside my initial thought of using music to change the experience of a space. Whether this then relates back to my current thinking of how my pieces have got a very tenuous link around LIFE, in some way furthering an experience by heightening it, or by making the gallery experience life affirming I’m not really sure. but definitely feel more connected with the space we have on offer after the artist explained about using that opportunity to define your work, as you don’t know when another chance like it will come along. I wonder how the others in the group would react to me changing their artwork by manipulating the light or temperature in the space to either challenge or comfort the audience? I would like the apparent way in which I view things differently to others also to have a place in the piece(s) I will produce, but it is a lot easier to feel more confident in them when you consider each idea valid, and part of the process rather than fighting against it as being a design rather than art. should I restrict myself at this point by starting making the piece now, and see what effect this then has, or should I still continue the development process and see where that takes me? anyway, I’m still not willing to rush it, and I think I should take comfort in what the artist said about how you shouldn’t rush ideas and that it is “more challenging to keep things simple” and just try and keep the fluidity going, but equally I need to dedicate some proper time for this development otherwise no method I choose will be going anywhere!

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